Too Small

I'm not young to know the fact of living. At this point of time, i keep thinking of moments that happened more than a decade ago. Definitely, there are no worries of being a kid. 
You won't have time to think of the world. Just have fun. 
You don't have to bother any feelings of uncertainty and worries. Just carry on and trust your guts. 
If you fall, just get up and stop crying from the cuts and pains. 
Tell your mom and dad if you need anything. They will definitely have it for you. 
But that was 10, 20 years ago. 
If only money can buy the time. 

Talking about the present, this probably one of the worst time i ever had in my life. I wish i have someone that can listen and never get tired of me nagging and crying all the time. 
After all, we are all humans. We do have limitations. And that's why, i chose to write instead of whining. It's fine if nobody read this. I just want to take this feeling of sadness and frustration away. I will never be satisfied if i share my true feelings with people around me. And somehow, i find it uncomfortable. I hate when people knows the other side of me.   
I believe that is how most introvert does. Always being independent and secretive, thinking that i am strong enough to handle everything on my own. 

But i guess not. I remembered how weak and how small i was to fight the world. I never tell anybody how much i was crying for help, how much i want to have the attention. I grown up fighting for my dreams and against my unnecessary feelings. It's very hard especially when people around me were affected with my very bad behavior. I feel so sorry because they have to bear with me. 

In the end, it is me who have to change myself. Back to Him and I will surely find my happiness. Be strong, please!